The majority of couples break up, as evidenced by the fact that the divorce rate is about 50% in western countries. These marriage statistics don’t include couples that break up after being in a long-term relationship without ever getting married.
So why is it that so many relationships and marriages result in breaking up?
While many relationships and marriages don’t last, there are things you can do to save a marriage. Here in this article, I’ll explain how to save a marriage that is falling apart.
1. Take Action Early If You Are Keen to Save Your Marriage
The most common mistake that a lot of couples make is they only begin to deal with problems when things have already escalated too far out of control (therefore sometimes it’s too late to save their relationship).
I would like to encourage you to take action as early as possible. Don’t wait until the state of your marriage is already feeling hopeless. Do something now, while you both have the belief that your relationship can be salvaged.
When you notice something isn’t right in your marriage, you need to do something about it immediately. This requires open and honest communication. Yes, this can seem challenging at times, however, a happy and fulfilling relationship requires effective communication followed by intentionally focused actions. If you act early enough, it’s not that difficult to turn your relationship around.
If money is an issue, you will need to have a financial plan and a weekly money date with your spouse when you check your personal finances together. This strategy is recommended by author Kate Northrup in her book Money: A Love Story.
2. Realize That You Will Often View Things Differently
When you are arguing with your spouse, nine times out of ten you’re trying to be right rather than choosing to be happy. Yes, you can be absolutely, positively right… from your own perspective. But if arguing your point doesn’t make you happy, what’s the point of having to be right all the time?
Look to see the humor in a situation when your opinions and perceptions are shown to be different. Research has shown that our brains can perceive a situation in hundreds of different ways – so it really is a miracle that we understand each other and agree on anything at all!
Knowing in advance that your brain is often going to misinterpret things, (as well as the intentions behind them) you can choose to see the humor of a situation instead of taking a resistant stance and stubbornly trying to prove that you are right. Technically, both of you are right from your own perspectives, so make it a priority that you seek to understand what your partner is trying to say and convey.
Often, you will find yourself starting to smile at the absurdity of a resistant stance you are taking but, you can’t seem to help yourself from indulging in being stubborn. You clearly see what your partner is trying to say, however, you are too invested in proving that their words are wrong and inconsistent with what they’re meaning to say. You’re too busy proving yourself right that you don’t correct this relationship sabotaging action before it escalates out of control. Overindulging in this childish game can lead to either or both of you becoming emotionally triggered and entering a full-blown argument… Just because you wanted to prove that you were right.
Stop being petty and instead, choose to enjoy your different modes of expression. This will help prevent issues from escalating out of control and is a major step toward saving your marriage. The good news is when you stop overreacting from a negatively triggered emotion, you will feel happier. And it’s a wonderful thing to choose to be happy rather than being right all the time. Hence, an effective method of saving a marriage that is falling apart.
Using humor and stopping being petty are effective ways to cope with small problems in a marriage and dating coach Matthew Hussey agrees with that. During an interview with NBC, Hussey says,