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Pleasing Others Vs. Pleasing Yourself : By, Ainan Ahmad

I am finding a new awareness of what it means to honor myself.  For years I have been a people pleaser and going along with what other people wanted made me happy because I thought I was making them happy by giving them what they wanted.  I struggled with indecision often getting confused between what it was that I truly wanted and wanting to “get along with everyone else” so I would appease them and be able to live comfortably where I was and feel like I “fit in.”

Recently, probably as a side-effect of moving to California and being in a community where there are so many people who are free and radically expressing themselves, I am re-evalutating what it means to be free by being completely HONEST with myself and everyone else.  As a life-long people pleaser, I often found myself burning-out being around people who drained me because I was trying to “go with the flow” when really I was hiding my needs and my truth from my friends and from myself.

Maybe I did it because I was a sensitive person afraid of how others might judge and criticize ME, and I felt that it was safer to just go with the flow so they wouldn’t point out my “faults” or dislike me.  But when it comes down to it, differing personal preferences makes us human, in fact, it is our differences that make us beautiful and often MORE likable.  I always admired those who have the bravery to be fully themselves.  They are the people who are comfortable in their bodies, they always get their needs met because they are not afraid to state them, and they have charming unique personalities, because they are fully embodying their true essence, no matter what anyone thinks.


Pleasing others. Well, we all know the meaning of these two precious words, don’t we? Who doesn’t want to please others, who doesn’t want to please EVERYBODY? There is nothing wrong in wanting to be liked, in wanting others to enjoy your presence, in wanting to please others, but when your main focus is just that, when your main concern is to constantly please others, even if that means not being true to yourself, even if that means betraying your own self, then you definitely need to start questioning your behavior.

Let me tell you a shocking truth. No matter how hard you’ll try and no matter how much time and energy you’ll invest in trying to be this and that, in trying to be liked by everybody, wearing all kind of different masks, none of them really yours, you will never be able to please everybody. Never! It’s impossible, it can’t be done, so STOP IT!

Embrace the real you, accept it, own it, love it. and you will be a lot happier, people around you will be a lot happier, and your life will get a lot easier and lighter.

Don’t compare yourself with others, don’t try to be different, don’t try to be something else just so you can fit in, just so you can be liked. Be yourself, and believe me when I say that, the moment you do just that, the moment you accept and see yourself for what you really are, people will like you more than they ever did, and you will get so much approval that you will get “tired” of it.

Be yourself, be YOU and know that the world needs more people who aren’t afraid to show their real selves, their real personalities, their light, and their beauty, because the moment you allow yourself to just be, the moment you willlet your own light shine, you will unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As you’re liberated from your own fear (of being you, fear of being judged, fear of not being accepted, loved, etc.) your presence will automatically liberate others.” ~ Marianne Williamson


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